A Life of Self-Respect
There comes a time when we may reflect upon our life and wonder what we have been doing.
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There comes a time when we may reflect upon our life and wonder what we have been doing. If we have been responsible and diligent, we will likely discover some tangible results or work in progress that we have produced or have been engaging in, in the past months. This could manifest in the form of a piece of artwork, a more robust social media feed, a more prolific blog account, profit, a larger clientele or a transformed physique, to name a few. At any rate, any one of these will suffice to invigorate us and give us a pat on the back. We can be somewhat sure that we have been contributing, whether to an enterprise, to ourselves, to those around us, or to all of the aforementioned. More importantly, we can be sure that we have been someone whom we can trust and respect, as we have embodied someone who is a doer, who does what he says he would set out to do, or both.
In juxtaposition, we may discover a void. We realize that there is no work in progress or any sort, let alone tangible outcome, which dawns on us that we have not been pursuing and have not produced anything of value. We are characterized either by stagnation or deterioration. In all likelihood, the latter will hold true, because one who does not put himself to work will not just have produced nothing, but will also find himself to be increasingly rusty in his craft. We do not receive a pat on the back. On the contrary, the void that we discover is not the only one present. We also feel a void within ourselves, which makes itself tangible by weighing on our heart. Our heart feels weighty and lofty, piled upon by feelings of guilt and depressiveness. There is also resentment: we begin to lose trust and respect for ourselves, as this is evidence that we are someone who does not take responsibility for his own future. Such feelings are more profound and potent if we had an agreement with ourselves, but have failed to fulfill. We had new-year resolutions, but now have come to realize that April of 2025 is imminent and none has been attended to.
In the face of such emotional turmoil, we may choose to change. We tell ourselves that the rest of 2025 will be better, because we will be better—shouldering responsibility, being disciplined and taking action. However, being better is hard. Because we have been burying our heads in hedonism, we are demotivated to work by now. We are also vulnerable to the temptations around us, whether in the form of hyper-palatable food options, social media, or drugs and alcohol. As a result, we continue our indulgence, with the hope that the feelings of resentment do not return.
Nevertheless, the void in our heart expands and engulfs us. We thought that dispensing with and being free of responsibilities could liberate us and rid us of stress and worries, but we realize that the opposite has occurred: we feel heightened levels of guilt, depressiveness and resentment. The longer that time has elapsed, the more pernicious these feelings are. We find that we are unable to relax even when it is the time to do so. On weekends or in family and friend gatherings, while others let their hair down, we are reminded of our lack of growth and progress.
One day, we look in the mirror to learn that we have aged, but our capacity and capability do not match up, because we have wasted time. This realization only serves to lose the trust and respect we supposedly have ourselves, and that of those around us. It is not a good position to be in.
Perhaps that is why Jocko Willink suggests that Discipline Equals Freedom. It is because when we reflect upon our life, we can ascertain that we are making good progress, developing as an individual, honing our capacity, sharpening the saw. We will not find ourselves guilty or resentful of ourselves, because our conscience does not bother us in the form of a void—the void, which keeps us from feeling relaxed. The peace of mind that we enjoy stems from our ability to trust and respect ourselves as someone who gets things done, and who does what he says he would set out to do.
Closing Message
2025 is an interesting year. While the advances around us have brought about much convenience, it is a difficult year to live life intentionally. That is, a life where we adhere to our promises to ourselves and attend to our goals and resolutions. This is because it is an age that favors and contains in abundance temptations that provide immediate pleasure and maximal comfort. As access to these have never been easier, we are at risk of living life unheedingly and avoidantly. That is, we are more susceptible to our whims and hedonistic tendencies on a day-to-day basis. Our willpower may be insufficient in the face of such temptations and easy access. As such, we spend excessive time indulging ourselves in social media, hyperpalatable dishes and gripping drama series. As a result, we experience dopamine crashes and become victims of addiction to pleasure. The symptoms of such an outcome are deteriorating attention spans and thinking skills, avoidance of effortful work, and failure to maximize our potential.
But, if we render ourselves susceptible to these temptations and to a life of emptiness, we will be gnawed at by our conscience. Its bite force increases as time elapses, leading to rising levels of guilt, shame and pain.
Alternatively, we can choose to focus and live with principles and discipline, committing to our goals and resolutions. So that when we do rest, relax and reflect on our life and wonder what we have been doing, we will at least discover some tangible work in progress, if not results that can allow us to smile and live with a peace of mind.